JCB's Ruminations on the Craft of Fiction #34
January 7, 2021
A story recently made me think about the difference between perfective and imperfective aspect on verbs when describing character actions. To review: perfective aspect represents a completed act, while imperfective aspect represents an ongoing act. For example, we might describe a character who stepped out the door, a complete act. On the other hand, we might describe an action as climbing the mountain, representing the action as ongoing. In addition, the imperfective might represent a repeated action, such as when someone was clicking her pen. The specific character of the action described by the verb determines whether or not the action can be ongoing or whether we think of it as being repeated when we construe it in the imperfective aspect.
In a story, the imperfective, ongoing, incomplete action is ordinarily something that can either be interrupted or which is comprised of many smaller actions we may want to describe. So, we may say, She was walking through the lobby when a mob of paparazzi accosted her. Here, the walking is incomplete and ongoing at the moment when the character is accosted. On the other hand, we might describe a character who was driving home late that night and fill in the smaller actions that make up the ongoing driving: He breezed through a yellow light and turned a bit too sharply onto the main road. From there he sped through town until he approached his gated community. Here, the ongoing action of driving is made up of several perfective actions: he breezed; he turned; he sped; and he approached.
Notice, however, that the first example in the previous paragraph could easily be revised with the simple past: She walked through the lobby, and a mob of paparazzi accosted her. I find in many early drafts writers seem to be drawn to the imperfective where the simple past is more suitable. This often happens as part of a dialogue tag or to complicate a sentence. So, a writer might essay, "My favorite," she said, grabbing a muffin from the plate. Or, Turning on the light, she opened the fridge. I think writers know that they want their characters to take several actions in a scene, but they do not want to write staccato sentences, simple listings of one action after another. The instinct is to differentiate the verbs by ascribing differing aspects to the action. This is understandable. Nevertheless, these almost always create clumsy sentences. The two examples above should really be rendered as "My favorite," she said and grabbed a muffin (or, "My favorite," she said. She grabbed a muffin; or, "My favorite." She grabbed a muffin from the plate) and She turned on the light and opened the fridge. The perfective usually seems to read better for simple actions.
The general rule is something like this: If the action happens one time, even if it takes a while, use the simple -ed form; if it’s an ongoing or repeated action that will be interrupted or broken into pieces, use the -ing form. It’s ok to just work by instinct for a first draft, but this is definitely a tic we want to revise out of our prose whenever possible--or at least something we should be aware of and think carefully about when we hone our sentences.
Next: On Habitual Aspect